All you want to do is hold your precious child again.
Comprehending what happened is challenging. Your brain wants to stay in denial, and sometimes you manage to ignore reality when you are at work. But when you come home, someone is missing – your heart aches and searches for your missing baby.
For a couple of months after the loss, you and your spouse did an excellent job of supporting each other. You held each other, cried together, and were able to let out emotions. But after the shock started to wear off, it became clear that the two of you grieve differently.
There are times when you want to process the loss and talk about how you miss your child. You know it is good to talk about the person you lost, but your spouse either tries to change the subject or says they can’t talk about it and walks away.
Working long hours has become a habit, and time at home with each other is less and less.
What about your other kids?
Like you and your spouse, each child is grieving the loss of their sibling very differently. You work hard to be present with them, cherishing them even more than you thought you could.
But there are times when you are looking right through them. You do not hear what they are saying to you and only notice when they are not following your routine instructions.
The tension in your marriage is starting to impact the kids. They ask, “Why won’t Daddy talk about Zachary*?” And they are asking you, “Why are you staying at work so late?”
Smiles occur less and less, and very little laughter occurs when you are in the room. But one thing you have noticed is that when you and your spouse are having a “good day,” your children are more at peace.
Your marriage is important and salvageable.
It may seem impossible to come together and feel complete again.
You have a gaping wound that doesn’t want to close.
But you and your spouse are the only two people who completely understand how the other feels.
Couples therapy can be the bridge that brings you back together. And building that bridge is important to the entire family, especially the other children.
Here’s a safe space to come together and start healing.
I can facilitate your safe space for you as a couple to grieve, listen to one another, and sew the gaping wound back together.
Grief is not the same for everyone.
Opening an avenue of communication and genuinely listening to the other’s point of view leads to understanding and togetherness, despite our different approaches to dealing with grief.
Make the first step and call me today.
*Name changed to protect client confidentiality.